


A Thief's Wife

by Entwinedlove



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Foul Body Odour, Mission Fic, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Entwinedlove/pseuds/Entwinedlove
Summary: Hermione has to go undercover on a mission for the Order. Her partner leaves much to be desired.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Mundungus Fletcher
Kudos: 5
Collections: Of Sparks & Spellfire, Rare Pair Shorts Numbers Game 2020





	A Thief's Wife

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [RairPair_Shorts](https://rarepair-shorts.dreamwidth.org/) community on Dreamwidth for their fest "Number Game 2020."
> 
> I chose my first character (Hermione) and rolled seven numbers for my second character. One of them was Mundungus.

Tonks was putting the last finishing touches on Hermione's disguise while they waited. "It's just for the mission. Only outward appearances, yeah? If he tries anything with you, remember that spell I taught you; no one's going to complain if he comes back with the inability to father children."

Hermione released a tense little giggle. "I know, I keep telling myself 'it's for the mission, it's for the mission' but I'm having a hard time with it."

"I wish I could go in your place but—"

A crack and a crash interrupted her and Mundungus stumbled into the back door of Headquarter's kitchen. "I'm 'ere, I'm 'ere."

"Do you have it?" Tonks asked trying not to wrinkle her nose as the stench of body odour proceeded his movements.

"'course I got it," he said, handing _it_ over. The wedding band he handed her was warm from his pocket but also as little sticky. Tonks frowned and cast a _Scourgify_ at it before handing to Hermione to put on. Mundungus had continued talking, "'course I 'ad to, eh, _convince_ a couple a wizards and a witch that—"

"We get it, Dung," Tonks said. "You stole it."

He scoffed, "I di'n't steal nuffink!" He waffled for a minuted before adding, "Only borrowed it." He looked at Hermione, who had attempted a smile in his direction; the expression looked more like a grimace. "Oy, you don' 'ave to be lookin' like I'm foul or nuffink, I showered."

"When?" Tonks fired back.

"Er..." he said, stalling like he needed time to think about it. Tonk shared a commiserating glance with Hermione.

"Just know, Dung, that if you touch her arse, I'll personally make sure you join Moody in the 'missing body parts' club, understand me?"

He raised his hands up to ward her off and another invisible cloud of unpleasantness wafted her way. "All right, all right, I got it." He looked Hermione over and nodded. "Now ain' 'choo somefink..."

"Dung..." Tonks warned.

He winced a little but didn't say anything more, instead, he held out his arm like he was going to escort Hermione like a gentleman. Hermione tried to smile again as she took his arm but it was also a failed attempt.

"Maybe just... don't try to smile?" Tonks suggested as she handed them the coat hanger Portkey. Hermione shared one more look with her before they disappeared.


End file.
